Is it love?
by Kaliwashere
Summary: Mathias loves her more than anything, she's confused. Things change when a noble woman enters the picture. M for smut in later chapters. M!Hawke and Isabela pairing. Slight M!Hawke and Merrill. It doesn't really follow the story. I do not own anything from bioware.
1. Chapter 1: Lust at first gaze

Is it love?

Isabela's pov

I sat there in my same old bar stool drowning my sorrows because of the lack of information I got from lefty about the relic, when I saw an interesting man enter the pub. He had a broad jaw line and callow less cheeks. The way he walked gave him a sense of pride; even if his armor was showed he was poor. His hair was a bit shaggy but perked up at the tip of his forehead, and it was jet black just like the slight stubble that was spread across his face.

Something about this man peaked my curiosity, or maybe my loins, I can't ever tell the difference. His armored robes didn't leave too much to my imagination. The robes showed off his vascular arms and abrasive chest. He had a red stained tattoo on his left arm also; I couldn't make out what it was from where I was sitting. I gazed upon him as he made his way across the drunken filled room to a table not far from where I was sitting.

He plopped down next to a small dwarf. They engaged in what looked like an intense conversation for a while, but started joking by the end of the night, sharing a pint with one another. After studying these two for a while I finally turned my attention to the barkeep ordering another glass of the rat liquor they served here when a drunkard came up to me.

"How much for a night?" he grumbled.

"Sod off." I said, turning from the man trying to focus on the drink that was brought to me only moments ago.

He grabbed my wrist and snatched me at the back of the neck. Usually I would be able to maneuver of this situation in 3 seconds flat but being in a bit of a drunken state the man had caught me by surprise. "You're coming to my room whether you like it or not, whore." He exclaimed as he began dragging me to the back of the hanged as I thought was out of luck, the guy I studied so closely before made his way over to me.

"Can't we resolve this like adults?" The man explained.

"Shut.. It you have no business here you flaming blighter." The drunkard mumbled

. Honestly, what happened next I didn't see coming. The man with the red stained tattoo's hand started glowing blue, after he unclenched his fist he grasped the other arm of the man who was holding me and sent a sudden shockwave through his body momentarily stunning him causing him to let go of me. I thought it would end there, but after I looked up from rearranging my skirt I saw my hero shoving his boot into the drunkard's throat.

"Never harm a lady, you hear me?" he growled twisting his foot farther into the man's neck.

"I ... I won't" he staggered out still grasping for breath.

I watched as the scum of a man scrambled to his feet and ran out of the pub practically crying. I let out a small chuckle as my hero walked over to me.

"Why thank you my good sir." I said as I curtsied.

"Anything for a dear lady" he said letting out a smile, grabbing my hand and lightly pressing his lips to it.

I felt flustered for a moment and before I noticed it the man was walking away from me. What? Is that it? He wasn't going to take me to the back and ravish me as a reward? He wasn't going ask for anything in return after he saved me? As these thoughts crossed my mind I realized at the very least I needed to know this selfless man's name.

"Wait!" I called out. He was only a few steps away when he glanced back at me.

"Yes, malady?" He asked quizzically.

I made his gaze for a few moments before snapping out of my trance. "Your name, may I have it?"I questioned, hoping he wouldn't see i was almost lost in his bright green eyes.

"Well I'll have to think about that." He said turning away from me.

I was baffled as to what was going on, most men weren't a challenge. I usually just batted my eyes, gave a swift turn and boys would be falling to their knees. But the man hadn't falling for my charm, at least that's what I thought. I turned back around to my lonesome stool... And my drink feeling a bit disappointed, but he caught my glance again, and this time he called out to me.

"Wait ma'am.." He called, "Mathias Hawke is the name, but most people just call me Hawke." He stood there with a big grin on his face waiting for my response.

"Well, we'll have to meet again sometime." I turned to my drink, took a big swig and set the glass back down. I watched as he strode confidently back to his table. Feeling a bit tired I decided to head back to my room. As I was almost up the stairs I heard a fumbling behind me.

"Oh it's you..." I said glancing over at Mathias "... I thought you were another fool mistaking me for a whore."

"I would never." He replied.

I looked at him as I raised an eyebrow, wondering why he had followed me.

" Oh right ..." He fumbled his words "You never told me your name."

"Isabela's the name making men fumble is the game sweet thing." I responded, as I shot him a sly grin.

"I'll see you again then Isabela " And then he turned away from me without saying another word and sat back down to drink a pint with his dwarf friend. When I found my way to my room, I laid down on my bed and let the soft sheets envelope me, my mind was on my new met friend as I was drifting into a slumber.

"We will meet again Mathias." I whispered to myself right before I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Dance with me

It was a late night in the hanged man and it had been almost two weeks since my last encounter with the one known as Hawke. To be completely honest I thought I'd never see him again, he just didn't look like he was from Kirkwall. So I figured he was just visiting and maybe that was his last night here because I hadn't seen him since then.

Normally I wouldn't fawn over a man for so long, but this man seemed like he knew how to ravish a girl like she had never been ravished before. And boy did I need a good ravishing, the employees at the blooming rose never did me enough satisfaction, at least not anymore, and most of the men that occupied this town didn't peak my interests enough for me to sleep with them. But this Mathias Hawke had me extremely intrigued. He saved me, granted I don't really need saving but it was still selfless of him to come to my rescue without asking for a reward.

Just as I was about to give up on him returning I overheard a man say something. I swiftly turned in my seat to see who uttered the name Mathias Hawke. Of course! I thought to myself. It was the dwarf who sat with him the night I saw him last. I could ask him about his friend. I made my way past a few people to a small group that was surrounding him.

"Then Hawke ran across the battlefield..." He continued "... Out of nowhere and took the ogres head clean off!"

The sound of gasps filled the crowd, oos and awes came from people all around the room. But the dwarf wasn't even finished with his story yet, this I had to hear. I scooted onto the bench in front of him and stared eagerly as he began to finish his tale.

"After he had taken down a horde of darkspawn..."

Wait, did he just say darkspawn? The ferelden monsters? I knew he wasn't from around here!

"... A dragon the chasind folk called flemeth swooped down to engage in a conversation with Hawke himself! She promised to save him and his family and bring them to safety on a nearby slaver boat, so He accepted her deal and once she dropped them off near the ships he parted ways with flemeth and made his way to here, to Kirkwall."

"Oh that's all a pile of nugshit!" Someone called from the crowd.

"Really?" The dwarf questioned, " then why don't you ask the hero of the story himself?"

And in that moment the crowd parted in half, all eyes on the man himself, Mathias. "Now Varric what did I say about calling me a hero? Don't embellish your stories to much." He stated proudly giving the biggest Grin

"Hawke I was just telling the tale of how you made it to Kirkwall."

"Oh yes, and it was quite the tale if I might say so." I added trying to push myself into the conversation.

"Well it is a good one, at least when my trusty dwarf tells it." He said lightly dragging his hand at Varric's hair, taking a seat next to him.

The crowd dispersed back to their other activities. Then He turned to address me.

"Well hello isabela." As he talked he gave me a sweet smile.

"Hawke." I nodded my head at him trying not to seem too pleased to see him again.

He waved his hand at the waitress and asked her to bring us a pint. As he raised his left arm I took a better look at his tattoo. I didn't recognize what it was, it seemed to be some special markings in a different language. He set his arm back down and rested is on The dwarfs shoulders.

"Well, Varric..." He began. "About this expedition, I only have half the coin so far and it's been a while since you have me that proposition. So what I'm thinking is we don't just take big jobs anymore, we take jobs that almost no one wants. That's where the real money lies brother, the real coin!"

"Hawke you can whatever you please I'm just along for the ride!" Varric replied.

I sat back and relaxed with my drink as Hawke conversed with his friend. I was waiting when it would be the right time to make my move and scoot into the conversation, but it never really felt like the right time because they were talking about some expedition I wasn't a part of. I sat there tapping my fingers to the beat of the lute that was now filling the room. I watched as patrons of the bar stood up to dance and frolic around the bar.

I didn't really feel up to the task of seducing Hawke anymore, so I decided I would go back to my room and get smashed with the liquor I kept in my bedside table. Just as I stood up, Hawke placed his hand on mine, and then looked up at me.

"Isabela before you go would you care to dance with me?" He asked.

"Oh am I to be indulged with your swift dance moves?" I said letting out a small giggle.

"I don't know maybe you'll just have to find out." as he said that he lifted me out of my seat and led me to the dance floor in one swift motion, holding onto my hand the whole entire way.

We linked arms dancing around the floor, exchanging laughs and smiles as we went skipping along to the music. When the song slowed down, He placed his hands upon my waist and I linked mine around his shoulders. We swayed to the strumming of the lute, pressing our bodies together.

I perked up to his neck, "You sure know how to move Hawke." My lips grazed him as I talked.

"Please, call me Mathias." He whispered leaning down to my ear.

Hawke tightened his grip around my waist and brought my face close to his about to lean into my lips, when suddenly a ruckus was created by four men bursting into the bar.

"Where is that sneaky bitch!?" I recognized the voice instantly; it was lefty, a man I asked to help me a few weeks ago. Mathias admittedly let go of me and made his way towards the men.

"Now now boys, I'm sure I can help you find this woman you're looking for."

"No need to help I see the thief right there." Lefty pointed at me, and I knew I couldn't hide any longer, so I walked up to him and engaged in conversation.

"Why are you here lefty?"

"To get my coin whore!" Hawke stepped in between us, trying to push us away from each other, but I knew that wouldn't work, I knew I had to handle this here and now.

"I'll tell you what; I'll give you what your information was worth to me." I stated slightly enraged. "Oh wait your information was worth nothing! So I guess that's what you'll get!"

Lefty waved his hand to his backup making them come near me, pulling out their swords. Knowing he wasn't taking the hint that I wasn't going to pay him, I decided to take action. I pushed my feet off the ground jumping over lefty, slamming him into Mathias during the process. While pulling two daggers from my back I swiftly round housed one of his thugs, making him collide into a nearby table, knocking him out cold.

Then I proceeded to smash the heads of the other two thugs together. As I turned my back to them I saw Mathias holding lefty back with a dagger to his neck. Feeling rather pleased with myself for taking out all three of his guys and having lefty in a choke hold, I walked up to the disabled man, swaying my hips in the process.

"Well lefty tell me now, is this really worth dying over?" I asked, sneaking out a small smile.

"N- no." He choked out. "Can you please g-get your friend t-to re-lease me from his grip." He choked on his words again.

I nodded at Hawke, giving him permission to let go of lefty. As he loosened his hold, lefty slipped away from him running out of the hanged man.

Mathias glanced at me with a puzzled look; I could tell he was questioning me with his bright green eyes. Instead of talking about the encounter I just went and sat back down at the able where Varric was at. I could feel Hawkes gaze burning into the back of my head. Instead of calling out to me he just reluctantly made his way back to the table without saying a word. Seeing he was irritated I thought I should explain, just as I was about to talk a rather pale girl came up to our table.

"Are you isabela?" She asked nervously.

"The one and only Hun."

"Then this is for you." She then handed me a slip of off white paper that was folded in two., after that she left in a hurry.

I opened it slowly as Hawke watched me, the letter said.

"Isabela, nice to know you are alive. It seems like we should arrange a meeting, just for old time's sake. Hayder." That bastard, he'll try to kill me for sure. He wants a duel? Then I'll give it to him. No, I can't show up alone. He'll double cross me, he won't play fair at all. He'll bring back up. And you know what? So will I.

"Hawke, I'm in need of some assistance, and from what I've heard tonight you deal with these sort of things all the time."

"What is it isabela?" He asked peering into my eyes With deep concern.

"A man wants to duel, but I don't trust him to fight fairly, I need someone to accompany me as backup."

" Well I'd be happy to oblige, can Varric come to?"

"Yeah of course the more the merrier." On that note I stood up waved goodbye to Mathias and his friend and went to my room, the small brawl earlier left me a little weak and I needed to sleep if we were going to take on Hayder


	3. Chapter 3: To drunk to fast

Mathias pov

"That wasn't all too bad." I said being a little cheeky.

Isabela, Varric, and I were on our way out of the chantry back to low-town.

"Did I not tell you he would do that or what?" Isabela said snapping her daggers back into place as we were talking.

She sure was beautiful I couldn't help but stare; she has dark luscious hair, big beautiful brown eyes, and best of all milky brown skin. I try to be gentlemanly most times we talk but her curves distracted me every time I saw her.

Isabela had been traveling with us for a while now, we had done a few dealings with some dwarfs and elves since she joined us, but nothing to big. It probably had been about 6 months since the first job she joined us on.

We just came back from a fight in the chantry; isabela was so swift during the fight. She was so graceful it almost looked like she was dancing her way across the battle field. I could tell she was a rouge considering her weapon of choice was a set of daggers and how quickly she moved.

I myself am a Mage, I always wanted to be a rouge type but this clunky staff always stunted my movements. I trained with daggers for a while with my dad, he teached me how to sneak up on somebody and how to kill people without being seen. He tought these things to me before I started showing signs of being a Mage. I sure did miss him. I shook my head trying to forget the memories of my father, they always made me depressed.

My thoughts had distracted me from the path and I hadn't realized we were already at the hang man. I glanced at my friends shot them a smile and a wave, then began to walk back to my uncles house.

"Hawke! Where are you going?" Isabela called out to me.

"I'm not feeling too well; I'm going to head home." That was a lie, I felt fine. I just wanted to be by myself, thinking about my father always made me want to be alone.

"Oh Hawke don't be a party pooper, come in and have a drink with us!"

"Actually rivani..." Varric had been calling her that all night; it had something to do with where she was from. "...I'm going back to my room; I have to fix up Bianca." A man had gotten too close to Varric during the battle and he had to knock him with his bow. Bianca was covered in the blood from the thugs jaw.

"Hawke!" Isabela whined, "Please? I don't want to drink alone."

I sighed as I regretfully walked back to her. Varric went to his room as soon as we got inside and isabela and I sat at the bar. We ordered drinks and talked for a while. We mostly talked about her life as a pirate and how she missed the sea. We were on the subject of my life before Kirkwall when she asked me about my father.

"So is there a daddy in all this mess?"

"No he's been gone for a while." I responded sorrowfully hoping she would take the hint that I didn't want to talk about it.

"Oh I see, well..." After that it was awkward for a while. For the longest time. It was silent as we just sat and sipped on our drinks. I was definitely taking advantage of the coin I earned for the day, using it to help me drown my sorrows in liquor.

By the end of the night I was extremely intoxicated, more than I have been in a while. On the other hand isabela was surprisingly sober, she took advantage of my drunken state and place a hand on my left thigh as we sat, stroking it lightly.

"Can you walk me back to my room Mathias?" She asked trying to sound all innocent.

Unaware of her intentions I politely obliged not wanting to be rude. When we arrived at her room, she grabbed my hand and led me to her bed. To drunk to keep steady I fell onto it, pulling her on top of me in the process. We were face to face, are lips only centimeters away from touching. When I realized what was going on, I knew I couldn't let it happen. I didn't want have sex with her, at least not like this. I was drunk and I wouldn't have remembered anything, and a women like this needed to be savored cherished and pleasured, not reluctantly plowed by a drunken fool.

I squirmed under her, trying to free myself from her grasp, turning my face so are lips wouldn't connect. She didn't like that; she wanted me now, not tomorrow or next day, now.

"What's wrong sweet thing? Why are you changing your mind all of a sudden? Are you no longer interested?" Isabela questioned.

I couldn't get her off me she had pinned my wrists down above my head. She lifted herself up a bit glancing down at my trousers, her eyebrows raised; she could clearly tell I was aroused.

"Oh no, you're surely interested." She said with a hint of seduction in her voice. Now she was toying with me. Isabela pressed her hips into my manhood, gaining a faint moan from me.

I had to flip her over to gain control; I couldn't let her do this. As soon as I saw the opportunity, I turned the tables making her be the one underneath me. She looked up at me with a burning desire, she wanted me so bad. I wanted to give in and ravish her right there. But I knew better.

I wanted her to remember making love with me. I didn't want to be another name in her one night stand log. I wanted her to feel pleasure she hadn't felt before. None of this could happen if I gave in now.

I pressed down on her, teasing a bit now, letting her know again that I did too desire her. I lightly pressed my lips to her forehead before raising myself up and sitting at the end of the bed.

"Isabela I have to go." I slurred my words

. "You can barely walk Hawke stay here with me." She said scooting up behind me, caressing my back ever so slightly with her fingers

"As tempting as that is I can't."

"Now why not?" She asked with a bit of anger in her tone.

I didn't want to tell her why so I got up without saying a word. I didn't even make to her door before I tripped on a rug. I fell onto a couch not far from her bed. She was right I was to drunk to walk myself home. Instead of leaving I decided to close my eyes and let the softness of the couch comforts me.

"Okay I'll stay Bela."

"Then come over here, get in bed with me." She said demanding me right now.

"No, I won't impose. The sofa is fine." As I flipped over I could hear her rustling to get her daggers off and sighing heavily as she got into bed. I knew I did the right thing by not sleeping with her, whether she knew it or not.


	4. Chapter 4: The morning after

I woke up with my head pounding, I didn't know where I was at first. Then everything from the past night came back to me. I sat up and glanced around the room, Isabela was still sound asleep. Even though she was mostly covered by bed sheets I could still tell she was nude. That didn't help my already aching morning wood. It was natural for me, but irritating. I pressed my erection down sticking it to my leg, making it less noticeable. Then I tip toed over to Isabela. Even in the morning her beauty was almost breath taking.

I knelt down by her studying her facial expressions as she slept. My eyes couldn't help but linger further down to her curves. "To bad the sheet was covering the majority of you." I whispered to myself.

I had to go meet Varric, Anders and Fenris. We were all going to talk to a guy named Fenton about a job. Considering I didn't know Fenton that well, I wanted to bring back up. I had to meet them all in a few hours. But I didn't want to leave this room, the sight in front of me was to beautiful.

I leaned above her and placed a light kiss on her cheek. Her face crinkled at my touch. As I began to stand up the buckles on my boots made a clanking noise and Isabela awoke.

"Mathias where are you going? Come sit with me real quick." She told me with a hint of morning grogginess in her voice as she patted the other side of the bed.

I was only a few feet away from her and I didn't know if I could hide my erection that well if I sat down.

"No it's okay, I have to meet Varric. I'll just be going."

"Hawke, sit now." Again she was demanding me.

I plopped down on the bed crossing my legs a bit. "Why wouldn't you have sex with me last night?" I let out a little gasp when I heard what she said. Isabela didn't want to tip toe around the truth, she just wanted to get straight to the point. I liked that about her at most times.

"Well..." I said awkwardly. She sat up still covering herself with the sheet. She looked me in the eyes, "Hawke stop being a pansy! Is there something wrong? I threw myself at you last night and you just drunkenly walked away!" Her voice was growing louder.

"That's the point, I was drunk, I wouldn't of remembered sleeping with you! I didn't want it to be like that, just so insignificant." After I finally choked out the words Isabela started laughing uncontrollably.

"What? What's so funny?"

"I thought you didn't want to because you thought I was dirty or something, now I feel so silly. You're to sweet Mathias, to sweet." After she replied to me I also broke out in laughter. Neither of us could gain are composure, for a while we just say there giggling like school girls. Honestly is wasn't that funny to me but Isabela kept doing this snorting thing while she laughed that was absolutely hilarious.

"Isabela now really, I have to go." I managed to choke out a few words between laughs.

After a few more minutes our giggles subsided and it went quiet. I had laid my head on the pillow next to hers and she had laid her head on my chest, still completely covered by the sheets. My eye lids were abnormally heavy, I fought to keep them open but eventually succumbed to their desire to be closed. I wrapped my arms around Isabela and sighed in relaxation. She scooted her head up closer to my neck. Then I was out cold within minutes. Isabela soon followed, apparently she didn't get much sleep last night. I don't know why, she didn't say.

Out of no where the bed was shaking and Someone was calling our names. I was to tired to respond , so I just waved my hand trying to get who ever was there to let us be, but they continued. Eventually I got the strength to open one of my eyes. When I did I glanced up to see Varric shaking his head at me. "Tsk tsk Hawke. Sleeping with Rivani already?"

"No it's not what it looks like." But as I talked he continued to shake his head. I peered down to see Isabela was still sound asleep in my arms. Varric's ruckus hadn't woken her up.

"Fenris and Anders are at the bar waiting for us, now come on let's go!" He slapped me on the shoulder, then walked out the room. I knew I had to get up, but I really didn't want to. I had a naked woman in my arms and a job was the farthest thing from my mind.

I slid my hand under the sheet that was covering her and made circles with my fingers on her lower back.

"Mmm." Isabela moaned still half asleep. I then kissed the top of her head where her bandanna used to lay. Not wanting to fully wake her, I tried slipped my arm out from under her cautiously. But no matter how slow I went she still woke up.

Without saying a word, or opening her eyes, she placed a hand on my inner thigh. Some how she knew I was still fully erect. It really didn't take much to get me that way, so having her naked, almost on top me caused my penis to become hard really quickly. Her hands just barely grazed the tip of my grown length. I knew I couldn't stay but the slightest touch still made me want to flip her over and give her a good ravishing. She started running her finger up and down my leg. Every time slightly stopping and toying with the tip if my length.

"Isabela I can't.." And before I could even finished my sentence she fully gripped my base from outside my pants. "Uhffff." I gritted my teeth not letting my moan out.I know thats what she wanted. She wasn't going take me how she wanted me, she did that with every man. If this was going to happen it would be on my terms, and I would be in control.

I took my hands, gripped her waist, and roughly placed her on my hips. She gasped, now fully exposed to me. She had hershey kiss nipples that went with her milky skin so perfectly. Instead of covering herself she placed her hands onto my shoulders and pressed down firmly. That was the wrong thing to do on her part. As she was about to kiss me with all the passion she had I flipped her over immediately. I was going to be in control whether she liked it or not.

I lifted off of her and stood next to the bed. "We'll have to finish this later. I really need to go."

"But Hawke." She whined. I refused to give in.

"Bela, you can come with us to this job, or you can stay here by yourself." Noticing my tone was a bit aggressive I lightened up a bit. "I would really like if you came though."

"You're no fun Mathias." She stood up and started dressing herself.

"So you're coming then?"

"Yes go play with the boys, ill be there in five minutes." After she said that I left and made my way to the bar. Anders and Fenris were arguing, which was nothing new. I grabbed a chair next to Varric and sat down.

"Are you ready to head out Hawke?" Anders inquired.

"No we're waiting for Isabela."Varric responded before I had a chance to. Somehow knowing she was coming. I looked back at Anders just as he rolled his eyes. He didn't approve of me being interested in Isabela, well no one really did except Merril.

"Just don't catch something Hawke." Fenris always spoke against my interest Isabela, where as most of my companions kept quiet about it. Just as I turned to scold Fenris for his words Isabela strode to us, fixing her bandanna to the top of her head. Everyone fell silent.

"Done gossiping I take it?" She didn't care what they said, she was proud of who she was. I encouraged her to be, I really did. I loved when she spoke her mind, and I loved when she was her raunchy self. I didn't want her to be anything else.

"Come on everybody lets go." I waved my companions to follow me, then we all walked out of the hanged man. We had to meet Fenton at a shop in high town. So it would be at least an hour walk. I didn't want to waste my coin on a carriage ride there because I was close to having enough coin to fund the expedition, I had 47 sovereigns. Fenton had said he'd pay us 10 sovereigns for the job we were doing for him. I didn't know much about it, just that we had to clear out a cavern.

We were about half way there when Someone spoke "For your sake I hope you use protection, Hawke doesn't need any diseases." Anders was muttering under his breath.

"Jealous are you?" Isabela knew just how to taunt him.

"No, I just respect that he's our leader and I don't want him dying from some STD he gets from you."

"Believe it or not Hawke refuses to plow me." Anders stopped dead in his tracks for a few moments then continued behind us unusually grinning, what she had said made him happy.

The thing is I didn't refuse to plow her, I just wanted to do it right. I don't know why she couldn't understand that. Maybe because no man ever wanted to please her, just themselves. I wanted to give her unimaginable pleasure, make her feel like a real women, not a tool to be used and thrown away.

"This topic isn't up for discussion anymore." I demanded.

"But Hawke you.."

"No Fenris don't." I wouldn't let him continue.

" I want silence the rest of the way, that means you to Isabela." And I got what I asked for. No one uttered a word, not even Varric. When I saw Fenton in the market place I approached him casually. He then engaged me in conversation.

"Hello Hawke and friends, I'm glad you bring such skilled help you'll need it."

"What exactly are we doing here Fenton?" Varric again took the words out of my mouth and responded for me.

"Well I own a piece of land on the wounded coast, the land has a cave on it. The cave is occupied by some carta and I want them out. Plain and simple."

"Easy enough." I responded shaking his hand. After that he gave us directions and we headed that way. The whole trip was spent in complete and utter silence. I didn't hear one complaint from Anders, any whining from Fenris, any sexual innuendo from bela, and not even a story from Varric. I loved the quiet. It let me focus on the path and my surroundings. Maybe I should be aggressive more often.

When we arrived at the cave Anders wanted to show his concern by speaking, but I just dismissed him with a wave of my hand. There were bloodied corpses outside the cave. Anders and I were ahead of everyone else. I asked him to walk ahead with me so he wouldn't be tempted to argue with Fenris. Everyone else was about 15 feet behind us. I knew why Anders wanted to speak up. Some sort of blood magic was being used. It looked like some Mages had sacrificed the people outside the cavern to demons. The bodies were stripped naked and had satanic marks carved into their chests. A pentagram was stained into the ground with dark red blood. It was truly gruesome.

I dashed back to my other companions I didn't want anyone else to see what we had just seen. But i was to late all of them saw the grotesque scene. Anders was practically vomiting at the sight, and I was coming close. I bolted to Isabela taking her in my arms, burying her head in my neck, and covering her eyes. I didn't want her to see something so hideous, something so disgusting. How could someone do this?

"If anyone wants to leave they can, but I need to do this, I need the coin." Personally I wanted to leave, but I knew I couldn't. These weren't normal carta thugs, there was more to this than that. Maybe Fenton didn't know, maybe he did and just didn't tell me. Either way I needed the coin. I let go of isabela but she still held on to my hand as I began to lead everyone into the cavern.

Out of no where Anders angrily turned around. "Hawke you know I'll follow you anywhere, but I can't watch as mages subject themselves to blood magic. I won't be able to control myself, Justice will go berserk."

"Go if you must, I won't resent you for it." I watched as he left. He didn't stray to far though, just far enough to gain some peace. No one else left, just Anders.

But I understand why he had to go. Justice couldn't control himself, and Anders wasn't always able to hold him back. Anything to do with mages or Templars infuriated them.

The thing between Anders and justice was hard to understand at first, my dad never really taught me about the dark side of magic. It took me a while to grasp what Anders told me, but I get it now. Him and justice share a body. Justice is only a small part of his mind. It's almost like schizophrenia but with more depth, and demons.

As my mind was on a million different paths my feet followed the one ahead. I was so distracted i didn't even notice Isabela had yet to let go of my hand. Oddly enough, we hadn't came across any thugs. The deeper we went the dimmer the light would get. at one point I had lit flames in the hand that wasn't grasping Isabela's just so I could see in front of me.

*CCRASSHHHH* all of a sudden rocks came piling from behind us. The rocks blocked the path back out the cavern.

"No one panic there must be an end to the cave. Well find it I promise." Everyone nodded in agreement. More crashes and noises came, but in front of us this time. At this point Isabela let go of my hand and readied her weapon. Varric, Fenris and I also readied our weapons.

I had my crimson staff in my left hand and a fire ball prepared in my right. "You three stay behind. I'll go a bit forward to what the noise was." I kept my fingers firm on my staff and proceeded on.

When everything fell silent and there wasnt a sight of anyone, I called back to my group. "It's clear!" I could hear all of them jogging to me.

It had gotten extremely dark and the only light we had were my flames. Focusing forward i didn't notice what was in front of me and I ran into a pile of dead carta thugs. Unlike the corpes outside these men were charred to the bone. The only way I knew they were carta was because armor was laid next to the bodies.

The scene was so mortifying I shielded my own eyes and called out to the people behind me.

" Everybody keep going, don't look." After i said that I blasted a flame forward so they knew here to walk without seeing what I had just seen. Varric led Isabela past me and they continued down the path. Fenris slowly followed.

I didn't want to continue but there was no other way out. My gaze focused back on the mutilated bodies after i stood up, I cringed at the sight. Im just glad i prevented everyone else from seeing it. I knew I must go on, so I persisted forward, not knowing what would lye ahead.


	5. Chapter 5: Hidey Hole

Isabela pov

It had been 2 months or so since we had been in Fenton's cavern. No one had seen Hawke since then. It was hard to explain what happened there. Fenton had thought some thugs just made a resting place in the cave but that wasn't the case. Someone had awoken a demon, it was probably a Mage but we didn't know for sure, whoever did it was long dead before we got there.

Fenton was right, carta had inhabited the cave. Well, they tried at least. They thought the cave was empty so they went to make a rest stop inside but were overrun by possessed mages. The mages did terrible things to the thugs. They completely mutilated their bodies. At least that's what Hawke said. He kept forward so no one else would have to see the horrible things they one point when he was ahead of us he discovered something so horrific He insisted on leading us blind folded out of the cave. I tried to help him but he wouldn't let me take off my cover.

I could only imagine what he must of seen, all the dead carta and demons scattered everywhere. No one could find Mathias anywhere. He hadn't come home the night we got out of the cave. I waited at the tavern every night waiting for him to return, but he never showed. It filled me with rage to see that no one else was taking initiative to find him.

Varric and Anders quit looking the after the first two weeks. Fenris never really stopped he constantly questioned merchants and such about his whereabouts but it never got him anywhere. Aveline Had her guards keep look out but no one ever reported anything.

I didn't want to believe he didn't want to be found, I didn't want to believe he was dead. I knew I had to do something. I just didn't know what. I could go searching for him, but what are the odds I'd find him? I'll just go to his uncle's house. I have to start somewhere right? I immediately left the hanged man and went to Gamlen's house.

As soon as I got to the door I knocked. No answer. I knocked again. Nothing. I knocked once more. Nada. As I went to leave the door creped open.

"Isabela? What are you doing here?" I turned back to see Leandra standing in the door frame.

"Is Mathias home yet?"

"No Isabela he's not."

"Is Bethany here?""In the back." Every time she responded to me there was sorrow in her tone. I could tell she was worried for Mathias but she tried to hide it.

"May I?" I asked stepping into the house.

"Of course dear." Leandra led me to Bethany who was sitting on her bed reading. Bethany glanced up at me with a sense of intensity in her eyes.

"Mother I must ask you sit by the fire and leave us be." Leandra shook her head at those words. "Mother trust me, leave us be." After she left Bethany grabbed my arm and sat me down.

"Where were you earlier? I looked for you in the hanged man and you were gone." She was again looking at me with a sense of urgency.

"I must've been in the back sleeping; I haven't left the hanged man since Hawke disappeared."

"About that, I know where he is." Just as I was about to scream with glee Bethany's hand clamped over my mouth. "I've known where he was this whole time; he doesn't want anyone to know. He doesn't want to be found. You must be quiet about this." I nodded taking her hand off my mouth.

"You're the only one that can get him out, Isabela the only one."

"Why me?"

"You're his best-friend. You have a different connection with him, one that he shares with no one else. Not even Varric. I need you to get him back to himself and back home. Promise me you will?"

"I promise Bethany." What was Hawke doing? He's hiding now? He doesn't want to be found? What happened to him? I really need to seem him to understand. Bethany glanced around the room frantically then jumped off the bed and ran to the door. She shut it and walked back over to me.

"Look we don't have a lot of time, follow me." I uneasily stood up and walked over to Bethany. She began tugging on a rug and removing it from the floor. When she lifted the rug a secret hatch was revealed, she led me down the steps into a secluded pathway. We followed the pathway for about 20 minutes in complete silence until we reached a door; the door had two hatches and a lock on it. Bethany unlocked the whole thing in 15 seconds flat. We proceeded to a dwellers cave near dark-town; we entered the cave and came to another door.

"Isabela he won't open it if someone is with me so hide behind the door." I slinked back into a crevice near the door way and peeked an eye out so I could see what was going on. Bethany did a rhythmic knock, and then someone unlocked that latch. The door creped open just enough for one eye to peer out, it was the brightest green I've ever seen. In that moment I knew it was Mathias. No one had eyes like he did. There gaze was powerful, yet so sweet, they were so bright, yet they can give you the darkest stare, they were just amazing.

"I wasn't expecting you, did you bring more food?" Hawkes voice was extremely raspy; it sounded like he hadn't drank water in a long while.

"No but someone else is here." I saw Bethany wave at me to come to her. I nervously took to my feet and walk to her. "No visitors." Just as Hawke was to slam the door Bethany's boot snuck in between it and the door frame.

"You'll talk to her and you'll like it brother, I won't bring you anymore food if you refuse." This is the first time I've ever seen Bethany so demanding, she was always so sweet, never aggressive.

"Bela get in now, Bethany I'll see you tomorrow." As I began walking into Mathias's hidey hole I flexed back to see Bethany leaving, then turned back to look at Hawke. He was wearing a white loose fitting shirt, and black tied pants that were messily tucked into a brown pair of suede boots. It was so odd to see him without his armor on, he looked nice in a way though. He looked clean and smooth, but his stubble was unkempt and rugged it looked like he hadn't shaved in a long while.

I glanced around the room to see a nicely kept place. It was no bigger than Gamlen's house, maybe just a bit smaller. Hawke led me to a pair of chairs on opposite of the neatly made bed. He sat me down and disappeared into the kitchen for a few moments before emerging with two cups of tea. He tiredly sat down and handed me a cup. I immediately set the cup down and broke the silence.

"Hawke what's going on? Why are you here? Why..."

"Isabela I don't want to explain this, can't we talk about something else." I wasn't going to let him avoid this. "You need to come home, you need to..."

"Bela I'm not going home!" He kept cutting me off. I know I needed to increase my anger or he wouldn't understand we wanted him back. Needed him even.

"Hawke tell me why you're doing this!"

"I don't want to explain, respect my wishes or leave!" He wanted me to go? I'll go. I stood up and firmly walked to the door without saying a single word. I turned my head towards him; we made a slight eye contact before I started shaking my head and undoing the latch on the door. Just as I was about to leave he called out to me, just like he did the first time we met.

"Wait..." Desperation was in his voice, his raspy voice. "Don't leave." He ran to me, grabbed my waist and pulled me into a long lasting hug. We stood there for what felt like hours, just in an embrace. He ran his hands over my back and nuzzled his face to my neck softly sobbing. All I could do was hold him, I didn't know what was wrong, and even if I did I didn't know how to comfort someone. He lessened his grip on me and lifted his lips near my ear but still kept his hands loosely linked around my waist.

"I missed you so much Bela. You were all I thought about. You're my best friend."

"I know Hawke, I know."

"Didn't I tell you to call me Mathias?" When I heard that I let out a small giggle, he told me to call him that the second time we saw each other, but I got so used to everyone else calling him Hawke, it kind of just caught on.

"You're my best friend as well Mathias. I stayed at the hanged man every night waiting for you to arrive, you never came." He let me go all of a sudden, and looked me into my eyes.

"I can explain, just come sit here." I went and sat on the bed with him; before he began to speak he looked at me with his perfect green orbs. "After the cave, after I saw what mages were capable of..." His voice tightened and he began to run his fingers through his hair. "I had a vision of some sort, a vision of me, disturbing the peace in the fade, calling out to demons. I became just as the others, a subject to the demons. A demon of the fade consumed my soul and used my vessel to torture others, to do to people what the other mages had done to the carta we saw. I can't let that come true; I cast a spell upon this room keeping me out of the fade when I dream. That way I never have a chance to become a monster just like the others. I won't let myself become one I won't." He locked my gaze for a short while then I unknowingly slapped him, just across the face. I didn't mean to do it but, I couldn't help myself.

"You're hiding away because of a dream you had!? A dream!?"

"It was not a dream, it just felt so real." I grabbed him by his white shirt forced my face inches away from his. "Hawke you're too strong willed to give into demons, you're too intelligent. It won't happen." Mathias hung his head down low, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I just can't take the chance of hurting innocents. I can't."

"Mathias... Please."

"I..."

"You are the strongest man I know, you won't subject to it. You've lived your whole life without doing so, you won't now. Not because of a vision not because of anything."

"How do I know? How can I be sure?"

"You won't ever be sure, there's no way of knowing you just have to believe Hawke." He grabbed at me again pulling me into another hug. He began sobbing as place his hands on my lower back. I didn't have to say anything; I was comforting him just by being here, just by holding him.

He brought his hands up to my face and pulled back, he looked at me with desperation, his eyes wet from tears. He cupped my face with his left and just as I thought he was going to kiss me he placed his lips onto my forehead. That wasn't what I wanted, I wanted him to kiss me, kiss my lips, and give into it all.

But he wouldn't, he wouldn't give in he always put a wall in between us and placed a kiss on my forehead, like I was a small girl doting upon him. I knew it wasn't the right time to ask but my words just blurted out as I let go of him and scooted across the bed away from him. "You always do this, why won't you kiss me? Why? Do you not know how to kiss a woman? What is it?" I could tell my eyes were frantic as they darted across his face trying to see what he was thinking.

"Bela I know how to its just..."

"No, don't Bela me. I'm done you clearly don't know how because you would of already done it, either that or there's something wrong with me. Get your things well be leaving soon to take you back to your uncles." Mathias paused then stood up and started collecting his things. He packed a light bag and left most of the stuff where it was, I'm guessing it was there before he got here.

When I saw he was almost done packing, I left and began to walk down the pathway. "Isabela wait for me!" This time I didn't turn back to make his eye contact I just stood still but kept forward, not looking back. Hawke caught up to me in a matter of seconds and we both walked side by side not saying a word.

We eventually got to the first door I saw before, the one with all the latches and locks. Mathias glanced back at me as he kneeled down and started unlatching the door. "It's a bit tricky." His voice was soft this time, nothing but a hint of joy in his tone. A smile tugged at his lips when he finally UN did the mechanism on the door. It took him a lot longer than Bethany; he probably hasn't left his small home many times, which mean he didn't really ever encounter the door.

Instead of going up the steps and straight into Gamlen's house we took a different route that led us into low town. When I saw Gamlen's house in a short distance I went to leave, but Mathias grabbed my hand before I could turn away. "You know I would never force myself on you, don't you?"

"Clearly." I muttered under my breath. He shook his head at me. "You don't understand." "Then make me understand Mathias!" Anger had risen from inside me. I didn't know why I cared so much if he kissed me or not, I tried not to, I mean we were just friends, he made me care when I didn't want to. The fact that a man had this effect on me filled me with rage.

I placed both my hands onto the top of my head and sighed heavily, expressing my stress on the situation. "I'm going to go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bela..." his voice was saddened now.

"Don't bela me Hawke just don't!" I decided then and there I was done playing games with him, and with anyone else. I stormed off to the hanged man. Drinking would calm me down. It always had. Mathias didn't chase me, he didn't call out to me, and he didn't say a word. That's how I knew from now on we were friends, and that was how I wanted it.


	6. Chapter 6: Riches and Kisses

I woke up with a ringing head pain, I thought I had hit it or something until I realized how blasted I had gotten the night before. When I glanced around the room I automatically realized where I was, the blooming rose.

Hawke had told the rest of are companions he went one a trip on the sea for a few months, just exploring and such. Bethany and I were the only ones who knew the truth about him. I think Varric suspected he was lying but he wouldn't call him out on it. i tried to comfort him a few times but it never really worked. He seemed like his old self again like nothing ever happened.

Ever since I came to the realization that Hawke wouldn't plow me and we were just friends a few weeks ago I began to frequent the blooming rose alot. All the workers here knew me by name. There was one worker I had became rather friendly with, his name was Tamlo. I would even see Tamlo outside of the rose at times.

He was a medium sized elf man, he just reached my height, he was to cocksure for my liking at times but I had gotten used to it. His hair was long and red, it was always pulled back into a ponytail, his skin was soft, white and smooth. Honesty he wasn't my type at all, i liked my men rugged, but he knew his way around a woman more than most of the employees, so he would suffice.

Just as I began to stand up I realized Tamlo was at my side glancing up at me, he never left me until I woke up, it was sweet really, but I'd prefer to wake up alone. "Oh you're up finally, I'll be going Bela you know where to find me."

"Do not call me that!" I snapped at the word, no one calls me that, no one but Hawke. Tamlo had a puzzled look on his face but he shook it off, smiled at me and left. I used the sheet to cover me, I wanted to sleep just a little while longer before I went back to the hanged man, Mathias didn't come in there that much these past few weeks. His nightly visits became less frequent and when he did come it was mostly to talk to Varric. He hadn't really asked me to accompany him on any jobs, he had been taking merril more and more though. I would be jealous but it was Merril how could I be? Plus jealousy wasn't in my nature. There Is always another man around the corner, thats what I say.

When I woke up the second time I dressed myself and left to the hanged man. As soon as I got to High town I saw Mathias in the market district with a woman. He had his arm around her shoulder and they were looking at weapons in a nearby shop. She was decent looking I guess. she had light blonde hair with one brown streak in the back of her head that rested on her shoulders, her eyes contrasted his in a weird way, they were extremely blue.

One thing I knew I had on her though was curves, hers were so small and light, where as mine were bodacious and dark. So he wouldn't kiss me because he already had a girl? Why would he lead me to believe he was interested, why would he tease me. He was basically avoiding me now probably to make his new woman happy. If I really was his best friend he would of told me about this.

I continued to watch as he and the woman interacted with the nearby shop keep. The whole time they talked his arm never left her shoulder. They joked and messed around continuing to shop and such. They were looking at a jewelry shop when out of no where she turned and jumped into his arms, at this point I was disgusted and couldn't watch any longer, that was just gross. Public displays of affection were sickening.

"Geez get a room." I thought to myself as I walked through the district unseen to a carriage that would take me to the hanged man. After I got there I analyzed my coin and noticed I still had enough to buy a few drinks. I sat down in my same old bar stool as I was greeted by a few regulars.

"Isabela, Hawke came in here earlier looking for you." When I picked my head up I saw the bar keep who was here on Thursdays. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"Nope but he told me to tell you to meet him at Gamlen's at 5:00." I looked over at the wall clock to see it was almost 5:00 already. I had to leave now if I wanted to make it. I wonder what he wanted to talk about, it could be a number of things considering we haven't spoken in a little while.

When I came out of the tavern I saw a few people by Gamlen's house. It was Merril, Anders, Varric, and Aveline. I looked around for Fenris but I didn't see him. I went and stood next to Merrill. "Oh hey isabela!"

"Hey kitten, why is everybody here?"

"No one knows, he didn't say." Before I could respond to Merril the door to Gamlen's house opened. Bethany and Hawke emerged with ginormous grins on there face. "Well it's time guys!" Bethany's voiced roared over the small crowd around her house. Hawke jumped over the large set of set and got in the middle of all of us. "We've got the coin for the expedition!" He thrusted his fist in the air as we all began to cheer.

In the ruckus of everybody celebrating, I felt a sly hand smack my bottom, when I turned to see who it was I saw Hawke shoot me a seductive wink. I was all delightful at first, I shot a wink back even, but then I remembered what I had saw earlier in the market district. My smile quickly faded. Just before I could scold him he began to settle everyone down. "Now, everybody I need to tell you who I'm taking." We all fell silent.

"Varric has to come, unfortunate I know." Everybody let out a laugh as Varric punched Mathias in the arm.

"Then I'll be taking Bethany and Anders." I saw the fire growing in Avelines eyes, right before she could start her rant about how she needed to go her anger was calmed by Mathias's words. "Can't leave the guard can you now Aveline."

"I never get picked." Merrill squeeked out as she was just next to me. "Merrill you're to fragile for the deep roads, I couldn't let you get hurt now could I?" Hawke picked up her hand and planted a kiss on it.

Well if he had reasons for not bringing them he had to have one for not bringing me right? "And I can't go because?"

"Meet at the hanged man later I need to speak with you." Mathias then went back to celebrating with everybody, without giving me the time of day.I stormed off to the hanged man, I didn't know when he was going to show up, all I know is I wanted to be there when he did.

2 hours past by before he came, I just sat there twiddling my thumbs as I waited for him. When he finally arrived I acted as if time flew by so quick and I didn't even remember he was coming.

"Oh Hawke, I forgot I was supposed to meet you, what do you need?" When I saw the look on his face I knew he saw through my whole charade.

"I was just in the neighborhood." I smiled when he went along with it instead of calling my bluff. "Okay Hawke what do you need?" I nudged his shoulder.

"This." "This wha-." I was cut off by his lips being pressed upon mine, I felt more passion in that moment then I had in my whole entire life. His tongue slid on my lower lip, I began to open my mouth slightly so his tongue could ease into my hot mouth. The kiss was slow, soft, amazing. I forgot all my surroundings, I forgot where we were, the only thing I thought about was my lips being on his forever. I've never had a kiss like this before, I've never wanted something so bad.

Then all of a sudden it was over, Hawke pulled away from me and rested his face close to mine. "I know how to kiss a woman." He whispered to me just as he kissed my forehead and walked away out of the hanged man. I found my self dazed, just standing there my fingers just barely caressing my lips. He left me wanting, wanting so much more. He gave me no answers to my questions, he just made everything more complicated.

When I realized I was standing there dumbfounded, I ran out of the hanged man looking for any sign of Hawke. Nothing, he was gone, out of sight. I didn't know where to find him, but I knew I couldn't go looking, at least not right now. This is time of night where bandits come out. Maybe in the morning I'd confront him. For now I'd just go to bed, I had to sleep, the kiss left me almost lifeless.

When I woke up in the morning I grabbed a quick drink at the bar then headed out to Gamlen's house. I thought about just walking in but I knew Leandra wouldn't appreciate that so I knocked. A woman answered the door, she called out to see what I wanted, but I was dazed for a minute. I knew her face, I'd seen it before. I know I have. I couldn't just stand there like an idiot I had to say something.

"Is Mathias here?" I asked.

"Oh dear, let me see if he's up yet." I watched as the woman turned into the bed room, as soon as I saw the streak of brown hair on back of head I remembered it was the woman Hawke was with in the market yesterday. I almost completely forgot about her since He had kissed me last night. I didn't get a chance to ask anyhow because he walked out right after the kiss.

She left the door creaked open so I could see her go into Hawkes room. "Matty, you have a visitor, come on hunny wake up." Hunny? Matty? She had cute nicknames for him now? What was going on here? I stepped forward so I could peer farther in, Leandra was standing by the fire and no one else was in the house. I watched as Hawke groggily stood up and placed a small kiss on the Blonde girls lips. Just as he was about to ask the girl who was here to see him, he made eye contact with through the cracked door. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew I saw everything that just happened.

I furrowed my eyebrows in frustration and began to pace a little. A feeling at the pit of my stomach was rising, a bad feeling I didn't like. I felt it yesterday to when I saw him with the girl in the market. Was it jealously? I didn't like feeling this way.

" Hawke can do what ever he wants he's not yours isabela." I whispered to myself as I saw Mathias approaching me. His little girlfriend was about to come out with him, but he shut the door in her face.

"Look Bela I-" He began.

"No I don't care if you have a playmate, you're not mine, I don't own you. We're just friends." When I spoke it sounded like I was trying to convince myself for than him.

"She's not a playmate, she's a noble my mother introduced me to." He placed his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it away, I didn't want to feel his touch. It always made me melt, and now wasn't the time for melting.

"Mathias you aren't even a noble, why are you in a noble woman's company?"

"I forgot to tell you but I got the house back for my mother, I found the papers showing the rights she has to own it. It's just a matter of time before we can move in now." His hands ran through his hair as if he was stressed about the situation.

"My mother wants me to settle down, she wants me to start a family with a nice girl, she wants grandchildren." He cracked his neck before he continued talking. "I'm not ready for that, I don't want to marry a boring noble, but she wouldn't quit with it so I hired Elena."

"Hired?" Now I was interested in what he had to say.

" yes hired, she's been pretending to be my girlfriend for the past few weeks, just so my mother would leave me be. She owes me because I saved her family from a group of bandits a while back, so it's not like I'm wasting coin." he explained.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" My tone sounded more worried than I wanted it to.

"I didn't want you to get jealous now Bela." He shot me the same sly grin he always did when he flirted with me.

"I don't get jealous, I don't care if you have other women were just friends remember?" After I said that I placed both my hands on the top of my head and sighed heavily.

"There's more to this you know there is."

"No there isn't Mathias."

"Than why did you care so much if I kissed you or not? Tell me that!" His voice was getting increasingly louder as we spoke. I didn't have an answer to the question so I just stood there for a minute before I spoke.

"I just wanted to know why you wouldn't do it, I didn't care if you did or not." Why was I blatantly lying to him? I did care, I didn't want to care but I did.

"You want to know why? You really do? I was afraid okay! I thought if I slept with you or I kissed you or I gave into temptation you'd run off, you'd get scared of this, of us! But when I saw you cared about if I kissed you or not I didn't think about anything else but just kissing you. So I went to the hanged man and I did it, I gave into you. I let the passion take over me. After I kissed you I left and hid in an alley to see if you'd come to find me, to see if you actually cared. And you did you came out. That gave me hope, it gave me something. But here you are being scared, saying were just friends when you know we have a connection."

In that moment the only thing that crossed my mind was the way he kissed me the night before, the way all his words made sense, how I was scared of this, scared of us. I involuntarily grabbed him and slammed my mouth to his. I could feel the desperation I was giving off. All my passion was boiling inside me, all my fear fell away in the few moments we were kissing, but the passion subsided, the desire faded, and my walls came right back up. I pushed him from me, I couldn't be this close to him. I would give in again, I would succumb to my desire to kiss him over and over again.

"No, we are friends, just friends. This doesn't mean anything. Tell me it doesn't mean anything. Tell me!" He stood there just watching me, he didn't say a word he just held his fingers to his lips. After minutes of silence the words finally choked out of his throat.

"You're right we're just friends, it doesn't mean anything." That wasn't what I expected, but it's what I needed to hear, feelings complicated things.

"I thought so." After I said that I made my way down the steps and started to leave. Just before I entered the hanged man I turned back to see Hawke still staring at me. He shed a single tear, but quickly wiped it when he saw I was looking at him. I never saw him enter his house again, I fled into the hanged man before he did. I couldn't deal with it.

Hawke left the next morning with Bethany, Varric, and Anders. They went into the deep roads, I hope they stayed safe. They were all my friends. Just my friends. The others went to say goodbye to them as they set off, I didn't go. I couldn't.


	7. Chapter 7: When he returns

**Isabela pov**

It had been a month or so since I last saw Mathias and the others. I couldn't help but worry for them. The deep roads were a dangerous place. Granted a few darkspawn couldn't kill them but I still wanted them safe. I kept saying "them" when I knew I only cared if Mathias was safe. Don't get me wrong the others were my friends to, but I couldn't help but wish he was safe more than the rest.

I had been going to Gamlen's house frequently to talk to Leandra, she was in worry also. Although I didn't ever let her know I was worried. Also she needed help with moving some things to the noble house she used to own. I enjoyed her company more than I ever thought I would, I think she felt the same. I knew how to keep conversation that wasn't dirty and such I just didn't like to most of the time; she had been surprised by that.

I was at Gamlen's house the day Mathias came back. I saw the look on Leandra's face when she saw Bethany wasn't with him. He explained what happened on the deep roads and how she'd send word from the grey wardens if everything went well. For some reason His face showed no emotion, he didn't show sadness, pity, anger, joy, just a straight face. I've never see him without emotion; I've never seen him so blank. He didn't acknowledge me or my presence he just went to his room and closed the door.

I was left to console Leandra, whether I liked to admit it or not we had become extremely close over the past month and I knew she needed someone at her side, Gamlen left the house to tend to business, and Hawke wouldn't come out of his room. Most of what I said didn't help Leandra; she just shook off my words as she softly sobbed.

"We'll hear from her soon I'm sure."

"I love that you're trying to help right now, but I wish to be alone, at least for a little while." I didn't know what to say anymore so I just left. I didn't say good bye to Hawke or her, I just left.

A few days later I met Varric in the hanged man for lunch. We sat and talked about Bartrand's betrayal and Bethany's corruption for most of the time. Then we got onto the subject of Hawke, "Well do you know where he is?" I asked trying to not sound too worried.

"He's meeting with the viscount now, they're discussing the qunari." I shuttered at the word, qunari, bleh. I turned to Varric to make sure he didn't notice my disgust, he didn't, and he just continued talking.

"After that he'll be on his way to his new house, everything is settled there now."

"I should meet him there." The thought transpire in my mind as I began to leave the hanged man. Hopefully he'd be home already when I got there. I also had a golden necklace I wanted to give Leandra, hopefully she was there to. I wasn't exactly sure as to where his new place was but I found it just fine.

I decided to just enter instead of knocking, feeling comfortable enough with Leandra. When I entered their new home I saw no one but Leandra standing by the fire. She was humming a nice tune I noticed she sang when she was happy. "Well, I'm glad to see you all delightful."

"Oh Isabela I didn't see you come in. I got a letter from Bethany today, she made it okay. She's a warden now." There was a new found joy in her tone, a joy I'd never heard before. "You should be a proud mother;" I came to her patting her shoulders "is Mathias here by any chance Leandra?"

"No he's out with that girlfriend of his." She sounded irritated at the mention.

"What you don't like his noblewoman?" I asked.

"I know I pushed him into this, but for maker sakes she is so uptight. Maybe she'll be good for him, I don't know, he seems to like her a lot." We had never discussed Mathias or his relationships with women for that matter.

"When will he be back?" And before she could answer me Hawke and that woman walked in, their hands were linked, giggling at each other as they entered the room. "Elena dear go upstairs to my room ill meet you there." He said gazing at her lips. I knew their relationship was fake but it seemed as if he wanted to dangle her in front of my face a little, before she parted with him to go upstairs he pulled her into an extremely intense kiss. Her eyes were a bit in shock just as mine and Leandra's were, but I could tell she enjoyed every second of kissing him. Now I knew for sure he was trying to taunt me, trying to make me jealous, it was working, but I wouldn't show it. Two can play at that game.

"Well it was nice to see you Leandra I'm going to go meet sweet Tamlo in the rose, well talk later." I made sure my hips swayed extra as I waked out, feeling his gazed focused on me. I lied I wasn't actually going to the rose; I hadn't even seen Tamlo in months. I was only a few steps away from Hawkes house when I realized I forgot to give Leandra the necklace.

Just as I was walking back I into the house I heard Hawke on the verge of yelling so I stopped outside the door. "Mother who the hell is Tamlo?"

"Some elf boy she visits often, I've never met him before Mathias."

"You two are very buddy buddy, somehow I believe you know more then you're leading on." His voice grew as he kept speaking. "Mother just tell me who he is!"

"I don't know honestly! Why do you care so much Mathias?" Yeah why did he care? He seemed to fancy his hired girlfriend more than me.

"I don't know, I-" His mother cut him off. "Oh my poor little boy, you love her don't you?"

He didn't answer; he just ran his fingers through his dark hair. I wanted to leave then, but I was so drawn into the conversation. I had to hear his answer.

"Mother she's not meant for love, if she ever knew I felt this way she would run, she'd push me away, if I have to just be her friend to be close to her I will."

"Honey it'll never be enough for you, you need to move on." A small part of me didn't want him to move on, I don't know why. "That's why I'm with Elena mother." Leandra snorted at the statement. "You and I both know this thing with Elena is a charade."She knew? Why didn't she tell me she knew it was fake?

"It doesn't have to be anymore, she is nice enough, she told me the night I returned from the deep roads that during this whole mess she fell hopelessly in love with me, and in truth she'd be a nice girl to settle down with." He didn't sound like he believed himself all that much.

"Are you ready to settle down boy?" I patiently awaited his answer but he just shrugged his shoulders. "Regardless if you want to hear it or not Isabela came to me almost every day you were gone asking for news of where you were, even if she didn't want to admit it to me or to anymore she was worried for you, and worried if you would return. She cares for you more than she will ever say."

How could this woman know more about my emotions than I did? That's impossible. She thinks she had wisdom? She didn't know me or my feelings, I didn't care for him, he was just a friend I didn't want to die, that's why I worried, not because I cared for him.

"I'm going to go talk to Lady Elena mother. I will see you after she takes her leave." I had to sneak out without being heard, bother of them could ever know I heard there conversation.

* * *

**Mathias pov**

I went into the guest room down stairs to change out of my armor. The cloth of the white hemmed shirt felt good as it smoothed over my skin. I loosely tied on my brown pants and didn't bother putting boots on. I should be home for the rest of the night anyhow.

I headed up the stairs departing from my mother to meet the woman in my room. It wasn't fair of me to not tell her where I stood on our relationship; I honestly didn't know where I wanted to go with it. My heart always held out for something I knew I could never have.

I watched as my hand ghosted over the door knob and I entered the room. Lady Elena was sitting with her legs so effortlessly crossed. She was beautiful I'd give her that. Her eyes glanced at me with a come hither look I'd never seen in give me her before. Sure We had kisses, some passionate to convince people she was malady, some quick and sweet just to show affection, but never had we gone any farther than that. I had never really felt her body in my hands, the place I've only really touched her was her mid back, and her cheeks. Just so I could gather force behind a kiss.

I remember just a few days ago when she confessed her love for me, I remember exactly what she said...

_"Mathias I missed you so, this feeling has been building up inside me for a long while, I need you, more than I ever thought I would, I feel safe in your embrace, even if this was just a joke to fool your mother, I fell for you, I fell for you hard, please tell me if you feel the same..."_

My jaw dropped at her words, I just stood there dumbfounded I didn't know what I felt towards her, I was to caught in my own emotions to think of anyone but Isabela. I fled the scene that night leaving her in despair I knew what I did was wrong so I returned to her house the next day and told her to meet me outside my new estate when everything got settled.

Now she was in my room, lying on my silk velvet sheets, waiting for me to tell her I feel the same. All of a sudden she pulled me out of my daze, walked over to me, placed her hand on my chest and said "Mathias are you feeling okay?"

"Yes I'm fine take a seat." I replied making our way back to the bed. Her blue eyes met my gaze and all I could see in them was desire. I knew I could take her here and now, I could take her however I wanted her. Unfortunately I wasn't that kind of man, I never had been. There had to be feelings behind these types of actions if I ever wanted to follow through.

She placed her hand on my inner thigh and looked at me intently; she couldn't read me no matter how hard she tried.

Questions raced through my mind,_ should I risk it? Should I take a chance with her? Could I love her? Where was Isabela?_ My mind abruptly stopped on the last question, I now had another woman in my bed and Isabela was still in my mind. _She will never love you like you love her Mathias._ My subconscious was right I needed to move on; I needed to get over her.

Lady Elena must be the answer to my problems, she must be the solution, and she can help me forget my love for Isabela. She can make it go away. As I told myself these things I hadn't notice Lady Elena get closer to me. She realized my gaze was pressed forward so she lightly placed her hand on my strong jaw line and moved my head to face her. We were only inches away from our lips meeting and I didn't know what to do.

"Mathias..." She whispered ever so closely to my face. I felt her hot breath cascade onto my skin as she exhaled.

I finally mustered up the courage to say something, "I-I want to try this with you." After I stuttered out those single words she made no hesitation giving me no time to change my mind and crashed her lips into mine.

She maneuvered her tongue swiftly into my mouth and I began reciprocate the kiss while my hand moved to her side, Pushing her softly to my bed. I towered over her as she lightly ran her fingers through my jet black locks, I knew now there was no going back on this.

She pulled on the hem of my shirt causing it to un-tuck from my pants. Her hands slid under the cloth and caressed the broad muscles on my back. For an innocent lady she knew what she was doing so far. I moved my lips to her jaw line and down the nape of her neck, teasing the bit of skin where her collar bone was. Doing that, I gained a moan of pleasure from her. I hadn't been with a ginormous amount of ladies before, but I assure you I know my way around one.

I heard her shoes kick off and hit the floor then Elena parted our kiss to remove my shirt, the look in her eyes when she saw my almost rippling stomach was priceless. I leaned down further into our new kiss and pressed my body to her. My arm became bent and I was now supporting myself above her with my elbow. Her hands roamed over my abdomen as the traced every muscle that lied there. I slid my free hand under her and began to untie the back of her dress. Our kiss remained passionate as I undressed her, our mouths almost never parting.

I think she was surprised how quickly I had undone the tie because she made a slight gasping noise into my mouth. I pushed myself up into a kneeling position straddling her left leg. She gazed up at me with her blue orbs giving me the okay to continue removing her dress. My hands met her shoulders eagerly as I began to slide the cloth down her body, revealing her small but perky mounds.

She was wearing no small clothes underneath, I'm guessing she expected this might happen and she didn't want any delay on my pleasuring her. Her nipples were like perfect pink rose buds and I didn't hesitate to engulf them in my moist mouth. I completely stop removing the rest of her dress and attended to both nipples gaining moans from Elena at every nip and lick I gave her. She arched her back forcing me to bite down a bit on her left breast, she breathed heavily, the mixing of pain and bliss was going well for her. Elena intertwined her fingers into my hair as I began to flick her rose bud with my soft tongue. I could pleasure her beautiful mounds all night but I know I needed to continue.

I trailed kisses all the way down to the line of the dress that I left waiting to be removed at her hips. I stopped slightly caressing her navel with my lips, she giggled at that. My hands, which I had been using to softly knead her bosoms, moved down to her dress pulling away at the last of the fabric, fully exposing her little treat to me. Without even thinking I leaned my head in between her beaming thighs and placed the smallest of all kisses to her little nub. She wasn't expecting that, given her eyes were close tightly as she lied there and let me please her, she thrusted into my face slowly letting my lips press to her sex a little longer than I intended but I didn't mind.

I made my way down to the end of the bed and knelt down in front it. Elena was giving a confused look until I dragged her to me and placed her legs on my shoulders. She knew what I was going to do and she let me, she gave into me. I gazed into her lustful eyes as I slowly pointed out my tongue. Her eyes begged me to keep going and approach her destination so I did as she wanted me to. The first lick I took of her tasted fantastic, it had a metallic taste that stuck to my tongue even after I removed it from her. I began to engulf her perfect box into my mouth, licking every fold and crevice of her. Her breathing became erratic and I knew she was coming so close already. I didn't want her to completely finish before I could slip at least one finger inside her.

As my mouth kept locked on her pink nub, my fingers crept to the outside of her hole. I just barely touched her basin when she almost leaped in pleasure. I lifted my head up real quick so I could see her face when I pushed not one but two fingers in her at once. She made a cute little _"O"_ face as I did so; I was coming to regret having this night of pleasure with her less and less. I crooked my fingers slightly as I began to increase my pace. As my fingers pressed deeper and deeper in, her pants became almost breathless, I knew she'd finish any moment now and I wanted to make it a good finish for her.

My motions became quicker and just as I licked her perfect little nub once more her orgasm came crashing down. Elena twitched at the bliss I was giving her, her walls clamped onto my fingers just before I removed them. I took my own fingers into my mouth and sucked them clean. This seemed to turn her on more than ever because she pulled me into a passionate kiss.

It didn't take her long to get going again, the heat from her box was almost burning my skin. My length was painfully aching and I knew she could tell it was. It was pressed to her thigh, and it was pressed forcefully. She grasped my manhood through my pants in between kisses. I softly groaned into her lips. The tie on my pants was so loose it had already come undone when my erection grew. All that was left was to pull the pants down.

In no time Lady Elena had pants to the my ankles, I lightly lifted through them and kicked them away from me as she began to ever so slightly stroke me, Her fingers teasing my tip. I couldn't take much teasing I needed to be inside her now, but I also needed to know she was ready.

As I nipped at her ear playfully I started to whisper, "Are you ready?" She roughly grabbed my base and positioned me at her window in response. That was good enough for me. Just as I was about to grab it and guide it into her she teasingly pressed the tip at her already heated folds.

"Now now malady, no more teasing I'm doing this now." After I uttered those words I almost forcefully pushed inside her, she liked that, a lot. I was only about half way in when her feet pushed my hips forward causing me to be completely lost in her tight, tight Womanhood. Her hands met my shoulders and out of now where she roughly pushed me to the bottom, now she was straddling me, I made almost no motion as she bounced up and down into my hips.

I sat up quickly so I could massage her almost rock hard nipples once more. Her mouth met my neck and she sucked at it harshly. She left a bigger mark on me than I had ever seen before, she then moved her lips to the other side of my neck and again left a large dark mark. I lifted her head up then my mouth crashed into hers as our pace quickened, with each thrust she moaned my name into my lips.

"Mathias... Oh god... Mathias." She said. A coil in my lower abdomen began to tighten and I knew my release was coming soon, but I refused to let go until she was ready. I wouldn't ruin her first time with me by finishing before she did.

Her nails found their way to my back and she dug into it. I felt the blood trickle down my back. The pain just made me thrust even more forceful into her. I slid in and out for what felt like forever, I decided if she wanted to leave a mark on me I'd do the same. Her gasp was evident as I did this to her, she wasn't expecting it.

The air in the room was rough and All I could hear was moans from her, the slapping our thighs made when they connected, and rasped grunts from myself. We became intertwined with one another as she straddled me our movements were practically rhythmic, and I know we were being absolutely loud, I didn't care if any one heard. I wanted people to know the pleasure I could give this woman.

She was falling over the edge and I was soon following. I felt her twitch while she was in my grasp and that's when I knew I could let go. My heart beat quickened and so did my pace. She arched her head back in pure ecstasy as my seed filled her perfectly. Elena collapsed onto me and rested her head in the crook of my head neck and I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. A thin layer of sweat coated both our bodies, my hair was basically spiked back, and locks clung to her face all from the sweat. I took my hand and lightly brushed her hair out of her face.

She rose up and placed a chaste kiss on my lips then in hushed tones said. "Again?" I knew I was in for a long night after that, my mind began drifting for a moment and then I thought, _Isabela who?_

* * *

_A:N/ Sorry I haven't updated in a while. My writing is improving so i'll be posting more chapters, probably another one tomorrow! Review please!_


	8. Chapter 8: We could sail together

**Isabela pov**

It had been about three days since I heard Hawke confess his love for me to his mother. My mind was in spins from what he said.

_"Mother she's not meant for love, if she ever knew I felt this way she would run, she'd push me away, if I have to just be her friend to be close to her I will."_

He couldn't be more right, I wasn't meant for love. I never will be. All I ever do is hurt people, or betray them. I don't deserve his love, I'll never deserve it. I'd leave if I could but I need to stay and find the relic, Castillon will kill me if I didn't. I have to stay I can't leave now when I'm so close. Since I can't run I just have to keep my feelings bottled up, that could work right?

I mean he has told me he just wants to be friends. All I have to do is hold back on the sexual advances, that way he won't be tempted to flirt with me and such. I can't fall harder for him, I won't let myself.

My thoughts put me in a dreary mood so I decided to drink, like always. When I had about my second shot of tequila Mathias had come into the hanged man and he came with that woman. They strode in holding hands which could only mean one thing, they were together. That burning sensation at the pit of my stomach was back, there no way to rid of it either. Jealously was a bitch.

"Oh maker no." I cursed to myself as they began to walk over to me. I roughly sat my drink down and turned to face them.

"I don't believe we've ever been properly introduced, I'm..." She began.

"His hired whore right?" Mathias shot me a disapproving glare. "Isabela." He said in his rough tone. I just gave him a confused look as if I didn't know why he was angry.

"And this is your best friend Matty?" Her tone was unimpressed. I cringed at the cute nicknames she had for him. I was however slightly happy noticing that she called me his best friend, that means he's mentioned me to her before.

"Come on Elena you can come meet Varric." He announced.

"Oh goodie I'll follow." I said. Mathias gave me a look of anger, but I still followed.

"Hawke, rivani." Varric nodded to us then glanced at Elena. "And who might this fine specimen here be?" He inquired taking her hand to his lips as he bowed. She giggled like a school girl.

"This is Lady Elena," Mathias threw his arm around her shoulder; "She's my girlfriend." My heart broke involuntarily, that's when it sank in that they were really together.

"Oh my! Well isn't that the cutest thing? Hawke has a lady." Varric said as he snuck a glance at me. We only locked a gaze momentarily but I knew my eyes screamed pain. He sensed it to. He knew he had to help me get out of this situation on way or another. "You two go sit over there." Varric said pointing to a table far from the bar. "Isabela and I will get a round of drinks, on me of course."

I let out a ginormous sigh as soon as they walked away and sat at the bar with Varric.

"Rivani..." He exclaimed.

"Look I'm happy for the fellow he deserves this."

"No don't do this; you know you feel for him." His hand met my forearm and he placed a light grip on it. "He told me all that's happened, all the little moments you've shared. He loves you Isabela." Tears rolled down my cheeks, it had been years since I've cried.

"Then why's he with her if he loves me?!" I snapped at him.

"Because you're not ready for him, and he can't wait for you to come around forever."

"So he'll just sit with Mrs. Innocent over there until I'm ready? That's hardly fair to either of us don't you think?" My sobs got almost hysterical; I could almost feel Mathias's eyes on me from across the room.

"He's doing anything to keep his mind off of you, granted that's not fair to Lady Elena, but that's his business not ours." I leaned into Varric and calmed my breathing down.

"I'll just hurt him, I'm bad news."

"Rivani... You're hurting him by not telling him how you feel." His voice was soothing me for the moment then I heard someone clear their throat and I lifted my head to see Hawke.

"Oh Hawke we were just..." Varric began.

"Can you go over to Elena with some drinks, Bela and I need to speak." Varric nodded and left us alone, taking a pitcher with him.

"Care to take a stroll with me?" Mathias said leaving his hand hanging in front of me. I simply nodded taking his hand and we walked out of the pub. The night air was brisk and cold and I shuttered at the trickle of wind that came out of nowhere. His arms wrapped around me as we walked and I said nothing. I didn't reject his touch but I didn't encourage it either. He was warm despite all the cold in the night, he kept me warm.

The silence was finally broken after what felt like miles of walking. We made it to the docks and Hawke sat down with me at the steps as we looked at all the ships. "One day I'll get you one of these." He said with honesty. I didn't reply but he kept pushing me to talk. "We could sail away together you know, live on the boat." This time he leaned in nudging me a bit.

I brought my knees up to my shoulders and wrapped my arms around them tightly just as he had been doing. "How does sailing feel? I mean being out on the deck with the droplets of the sea hitting your face, just tell me the good parts like that." I could tell by the way he spoke he genuinely wanted to know, but I couldn't talk. I wanted to but I couldn't find words when I was around him lately. No man ever made me feel so invulnerable.

I felt his burst in movement as he scooted closer to me, his tones arms connected with mine. The smallest touch from him electrified my body all over. He noticed the sudden shutter I did when we touched and that only made him scoot closer. There was no space between us now, we were linked at the hip and I almost couldn't control myself from attacking him. The only thing that stopped me from doing so was the thoughts of what would happen after I did.

I felt indifferent about the whole thing. I hadn't had feelings for a man in a really long while and it scared me. I don't know if I was ready to admit my feelings for him and I didn't want to kiss him giving him hope that I was ready to embrace this when I knew I wasn't.

I mustered every being in my body and kept all my control until he uttered a few simple words that pushed me to the edge. "Sailing the sea with a beautiful woman, now that's a thought." I had to turn to face him after he said that.

Our eyes met and all he could do was half smile at me, and damn him it was the cutest half smile I'd ever seen. My gaze was wet from the tears from earlier. His thumb came to my face and gently rubbed the makeup from under my eyes. I saw how he was staring at my lips, as he held his hand to my cheek, even after he had wiped away the entire residue.

He was leaning to me and I didn't know what to do, I know what I wanted to do and that was kiss him, but I knew I couldn't follow through without some small amount of regret. The closer we got the more my heart raced and just before his lips met mine I lifted and placed a kiss to his forehead. He sighed then forced at smile at me. "Lost my charms have I?" He asked. All I could do was simply shake my head then I turned away.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts then Bela." My hand met his thigh before he could stand, I knew I would regret this but I didn't care that was a worry for a different time.

"S-stay." Is all I could get out before my lips met his. His stubble was rough against my face but I loved the way it felt. There was an evident spark as soon as our mouths met that almost made me pull away; just before I was about to he deepened this kiss slowly making circles with his tongue, His hand met my hair and I felt the need to intensify the session so I lifted down and left a tailor of kisses leading to his neck.

That's when I saw he had love marks all over, and I damn well knew they weren't from me. He looked at me with confusion on his face he hadn't realized why I stopped kissing him. He opened his mouth to speak but I spoke before he could.

"You made love to her didn't you?" I questioned motioning to his neck.

"You left my e-estate to meet that man, t-that elf." He stuttered out. "M-Mother told me to move on." His arms came to a stop at my waist and he forced me to look his way. "Please say something Bela, please."

The thought of him with that woman was utterly disgusting, him caressing her, him holding her, him pleasing her. Just everything.

"If you want me to go I understand, but just know she doesn't mean entirely as much to me as you do. She'll never come close." I analyzed him as he stood and began to walk away. Before he could make his way out of the docks I stood to. He must've heard my movement because he immediately turned and fixed a gaze to me.

Just like that night before the deep roads one single tear fell from his eye, but this time he didn't wipe it away he just let it cascade down his face and get caught in his stubble. To my surprise he started walking towards me again, I didn't know if I could let him get to close so I put my hand up slightly to stop him from coming nearer. Hawkes hand came up to before I could put my hand down he nabbed it and intertwined his fingers with mine.

The faster the seconds past the closer he pulled me to him. After a minute or so I was almost in his embrace but stood a crucial foot away from him. I half expected him to just vanish into thin air, but he did not. He refused to leave until I spoke.

"Just." I couldn't find all the words so he stopped me from talking and brought his stern finger to my lips. Again I shuttered at the touch. "Can I ask you one simple favor? You can deny me, there is no pressure." I opened my mouth again but nothing came out so I simply nodded.

"One last kiss before I go?" My hand was still locked in his, a coat of sweat formed there during the few minutes of contact. Instead of speaking which I clearly couldn't do right now I squeezed his palm, giving him the okay for one last kiss.

His arm tugged on me and closed the space between us. My hands fell to my side as he brought his to my face and gingerly brushed his lips to mine, they only made contact for a few seconds and he pulled away. "Y-you call t-that a kiss?" I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. This time there was no hesitation, he made his way to me and smashed his mouth to mine, he used force but was still gentle enough to my liking, and this kiss wasn't just a peck.

He placed his hands to my waist raised me up in his arms, instinctively my legs became linked around him and my arms wrapped around his neck. We stumbled forward to the edge of the dock his hands firm on my bottom.

I knew exactly what he was doing. He wanted to get as close to the water as he could, so I would feel at ease, he knew how the water soothed me, he knew how it made me feel at home, he knew that I'd be calm if we were there.

Mathias eventually set me on a barrel at the very end of the dock. His hands made their way towards the outer side of my thighs, his hand ghosted under my skirt and over my skin lifting it a little. The friction of our clothes was pure torture that would soon be remedied.

The sensation I felt when the ocean water spritzed my legs was indescribable. His mouth lowered to my neck and every part of my skin he left a kiss on was set ablaze with passion. The heat coming off of him could leave me third degree burns.

To my dismay his hands stayed outside my thighs, not roaming my body like I wanted him to. I took his hands in mine and guided them to my breasts, his kissing slowed as he finally came in contact with them, my hands lifted to his torso undoing this clasps on his armored robes. His chest plate made a clanking noise as it hit the floor, when it fell I undid the ties of his thick robe and let it fall to the floor also. Now he stood in front of me in a plain white sleeveless top, black suede pants, fingerless gloves, and boots.

He kicked his boots away almost effortlessly. He was still wearing too much clothes for my liking. Out of nowhere he detached his lips from mine panting. "Isabela we could go back to my estate and just talk, we don't have to do this here or now." His eyes flooded with worry and urgency. I didn't want him to regret this.

"No, here and now is perfect. Mathias just keep going." He seemed a bit frantic but continued to kiss me. I removed my hands from him, took the daggers off my back, and tossed them to the side. Then I unlaced my jewelry and bandana. His hands came to the ties of my corset and he quickly removed it. In a matter of seconds I was stripped to my small clothes when he was still fully dressed.

The feeling of being almost stark naked all out in the open almost pushed me over the edge before he even touched my nether regions.

I had to stop kissing him so I could remove his top, revealing his rock hard chest to me. His pecks were very pert and toned; I licked my lips as I gave his abdominals one last look. He was framed by the delectable moonlight, and boy did he look glorious. Mathias let out a small chuckle as he noticed his body made me speechless. I nudged his arm as I laughed to. A gust of wind sent shivers down my spine so he wrapped his muscular arm back around my shoulder. His erection was evident now more than ever, and it was pressing into my inner thigh just like his face was pressing into my neck. His head lifted to mine and he snaked his arms around my waist. Mathias gave me a devilish grin before he continued to link our lips.

My back turned and involuntarily arched as his tongue once again punctured into my wanting mouth. I felt his hands fuddling with the gloves he had on behind me, and then I felt his now bare hands on the clasps of my brazier. My arms rose breaking our kiss so he could lift it off exposing my breasts, he had only seen them once before and that was a long time ago. His eyes gazed upon my nipples in the most lustful way, he almost attacked them but thought it'd be best to not. Mathias's lips were slightly swollen from our kiss and I could tell that as he made his way trailing fiery kisses down to the nape of my neck, nipping and licking every inch of skin that lied there. His teeth barred against my collar bone then he proceeded to trace a thin line between my dark mounds, making a point not touch them at all.

This teasing was getting to me, "Mathias. Please." I groaned. Again a devilish grin came upon his face as he knelt before me. My panties clung to me, from my core being so wet with pleasure. He removed them so quickly I couldn't even think about it.

I was now ass naked where anyone who walked to the docks could see me, and I was turned on more than I had ever been. To my displeasure the teasing didn't stop there and Mathias continued by placing the smallest of kisses on my inner thighs, groping them in the process.

It had been so long since man had desired to please me in this way and I wanted it so bad. My past lovers hadn't been so affectionate, Tamlo was the last man I slept with and he only pleased me with his lower regions, not his mouth, or his hands. Even then he wasn't all that pleasing, but he was the best they had to offer at the rose even if it wasn't much. It had been months since I had seen him and I needed to be satisfied in ways he could never satisfy me, in ways I haven't been satisfied in in a long time.

Mathias's suckled kisses left marks on my thighs, knees, and calves, he sat up again to kiss me and I groaned against his lips begging for him to touch me more. After a long wait his tongue finally met my sensual left nipple and he teased me with a slight lick as his hand rolled my other nipple in between his thumb and index finger. I straddled the wooden barrel as he ministered to my chest. His nibbles sent curls of pleasure straight to my wetting core. His fingertips skimmed my stomach making circles in my skin. My budding rose was left to rest in his mouth as he sucked ever so gently. He lifted from it slowly looking up at me once more, his green eyes boring into my gold ones as he did a soft cool blow of air on my nipple. I writhed against him forcing my breast to his mouth once more.

His calloused square finger tips moved almost unbearably slow as they ghosted up and down my side. My hands met his jet black hair and I tugged at it as he continued pleasuring my buds, my loins were getting increasingly wet as I basically gushed at his touch. He moaned into my bosoms as my hands fisted his hair, the want I had was leaking from me uncontrollably.

"I've imagined this for so long Bela." He croaked out, moving his lips to caress my navel. I pressed my body to him, oozing with desire.

His hands quested down to my lower regions, not touching them, just hovering over them, feeling my warmth. I moved forward aching for his touch but he resisted, I let out a sob of want. Knowing of his desire only filled me with more want. I couldn't take it any longer I needed to taste him and feel him, my mounds pressed against his rocky chest as I stood up before him. Mathias shot me a confusing glazed over look before he realized what I was doing.

The laces of his pants went quickly as I knelt before him. I pulled down his trousers and saw his erection bounce as the pants pooled at his ankles. A gasp escaped my mouth when I saw his throbbing member; he was bigger than almost all the men I had been with, not only on length but in thickness to. He stepped out of his pants and pulled me up from my kneeling position to an exasperating kiss.

"You don't have to do that for me." He struggled out between passion filled touches. I scraped my nails down his chest as I lined myself up with his aching length.

"I want to sweet thing." Was what I whispered just before I engulfed half of him in my breathless mouth.

He was too much for me to take in all at once so I moved my struggling hands to what I couldn't fit in and stroked him roughly. The way he felt on my lips was amazing, I wanted him to feel pleasure that Miss Elena couldn't give him. I moved up and down slowly at first then picking up my pace when he grabbed the back of my head pushing more of him into me.

"Oh maker... You are a goddess among women." He breathed out as his orgasm came crashing on him. I took pride in what I made him do as he twitched inside my mouth, filling my throat with his warm seed. I swallowed sweetly not letting him out of me until he was completely soft. I placed a small kiss on his tip before standing up and kissing his broad shoulders. I sucked every bit of his skin leaving more marks then I had seen on him before we started. She had to know I was with him, I wanted her to know, she needed to.

Before I could continue passionately sucking his skin, he lifted me once again to the edge of the barrel, gripping my thighs in the process. My shoulders rolled as his searing gaze met mine, my legs parted for him giving him proper entrance and he answered by rubbing my outer lips with his middle finger. Lust and love was etched on his face as he spread my lowers lips with two fingers. My head was thrown in pure ecstasy, back arching, hands gripping the side of the wooden barrel when he flicked a single pointed finger on my clit. A tingle shot directly down my spine when the finger slid down my clit and met my hole. The first touch he gave my lasted an eternity, and maker it felt perfect.

"Mathias..." I let out a breathy moan, and he delved into me, forcing into my tightness. The warmth of his one strong finger felt incredible inside me. Mathias moved it in deeper than I thought he could then teasing pulled out before rushingly pushing in again with no hesitation. He gave me a possessive growl as he shifted one more finger in me, now filling my hole with two.

My molten nethers clenched around his fingers leaving me breathless. His other hand held me tightly to keep me from bucking to wildly. My moans were now becoming erratic now more than ever.

My lower lip became barred in my teeth so I could try to stifle my moans, Mathias noticed this. "Don't hold back, I want to hear you as loud as you can go Hun." His voice was like soothing music to my ears, and I began to grow louder as he quickened the movements of his swift hand.

Then out of nowhere it slowed and he moved his mouth to my nub. He began sucking of the vambrace of it and I rewarded him with a deep shuddering intake of breath. I whimpered as he pleased me with his tongue, licking my outer lips just as much as he licked my nub. I bucked onto his fingers and mouth as my climax reached its peak.

My buttocks was writhing on the rough barrel almost giving me splinters when my juices released as he removed his hand, to my surprise his mouth met my box even after I climaxed cleaning up every last juice I spilled when he made me finish. The straggles of his stubble scraped my thighs when he moved from in between them and fixed his face in front of mine.

Our tongues soon became entangled and our arousal rose from tasting each other's releases. He cupped my left bosom and placed his hand above the right side of my waist.

A heat was coming from his hand that I hadn't noticed before, being a powerful Mage his powers couldn't be controlled at times and he was doing his best to fist away the growing flames on his hand but instead I encouraged him to continue touching me but he gave me a worried look.

"I'll be fine. Just please continue." I said and He nodded reassuring himself then placed an open palm on my waist. I gritted my teeth in our kiss as a response, the pain was hitching at first as he burned my skin leaving a palmed mark on me but then it became bearable and almost pleasurable. The flames were settling and he was now caressing the wound he left softly.

I looked down to see a yellowish glow circle his hands, I was puzzled at first but then I realized it was healing magic. He traced his hand print on my waist with his pointer finger and the bitter sweet pleasure I felt in the moment he was healing me was almost better than the climax I reached minutes ago.

Our foreheads rested upon each other as he finished healing me, a slight print from his hand was still there, and it probably always will be. Especially after a burn like that. He lifted from me leaving me to sit on the barrel, I watched as he arranged blankets and hay near the end of the dock, placing a soft pile of dark cotton at the top of the pallet.

Without warning he scooped me up in a wedding style and then proceeded to place me on the assortment gently. I Lied there flat on my back as he perched himself above me kissing my torso and ghosting his hands on my sides. He breathed from his mouth and left tingling heat spots on my body from where his husky breath touched my skin. The warmth in my stomach increased as he softly moved his touches all over me as I lie there so still. We could be out naked during one of the coldest nights and keep each other warm just with touches.

His gaze burned into me intensely, drinking me in, sending Goosebumps down my whole body. His tongue laved a path from my neck to my swollen nipples. He lined himself to me, positioning himself out of my leaking window, and brought his lips to my ear, nibbling it a bit, "May I?" he whispered, grazing his tip against my outer lips. I shuttered knowing how big he was; even if I was dreading the pain that would come I knew it was all worth it so I whispered back, "You may." He slowly pushed his erect tip in already oozing with pre cum. I forced my hips down a bit so I could get a better feel of him. The pain only lasted a few moments, and it wasn't that bad.

His heartbeat could be felt from his grown length and I could feel our pulses linked perfectly as he started to move inside me. I wanted more of him in me but he wouldn't give that to me, not wanting to hurt me so I nudged him over then moved to straddle him, what he didn't expect was my taking him in whole as I did so. I sheathed his member inside me with one thrust and pull and the shock on his face was priceless.

He glared up at me, and then his glare turned into a loving stare. His green eyes sparkled from the light of the stars. I never had a man look at me the way he did. I never knew how happy it could make me, but there I was smiling the biggest smile I had in years.

I did a small circle with my hips making him twitch with delight under me. I rolled them once more causing an exasperated grunt to come from him

"Oh Bela." he let put as my hips encircled him once more.

His rough hands tightened on my hips, surely leaving marks, as he thrusted into me forcefully this time, with one maneuver I was once again under him. Mathias moved so expertly above me. He wanted to be in control and I was for once going to let him.

He propped himself above me with one strong hand. He placed a thumb softly in his mouth then brought it down to massage my clit. He deepened his travels in me deeper than I ever thought he could go, his pace was evidently raising as his tip my g-spot over and over. I matched his movements the best I could but it was almost impossible at the rate he was going. He pounded me ferociously, the slick in and out moves he did made me buck in pure bliss.

I was his for the taking, and he knew it. My mouth dries from all the moans and sighs escaping me, I licked at lips as My claws came to his chiseled chest and I dug into him once again leaving my marks. I involuntarily grabbed at his abs, and briskly choked at his sides then finally moved my tiny hands to grab at his muscular arms that were holding him above me. I kept them there and dug in as hard as I could; the feeling of him inside me drove me nuts.

I felt myself unexpectedly tighten around him and I orgasm almost unknowingly, I thought that would push him over the edge to, but that only made him delve deeper in me, I was racking against a second orgasm almost before the first one was finished. His body heat only made me squirm against him more. He was a perfect fit inside me.

I almost couldn't contain myself as his breath cascaded to my neck. His head rested on the pile right next to my face. He heavily breathed onto my face and I could smell every scent that was in him. The leather of his robes, now piled on the floor, his musk scented cologne, every little smell of him made me be pushed closer to my orgasm.

"Oh Maker Mathias I going to cum again, I can't hold it." It took all my strength to get those words out.

"I know cum with me." He spoke so eloquently, even as he thrusted so roughly in me my pelvis almost broke.

I scraped at his back now leaving new wounds and I bucked almost uncontrollably, brutally hilting him all the way inside of me. His grunts made me scream his name just so I could be louder.

"Oh my... Mathias! I'm done!" I screamed at the top of my tired lungs. My sex squeezed him so tightly his member couldn't even twitch inside me as he came. His semen poured into my groin giving me a prefect release.

My eyes shut tightly as I almost blacked out from the orgasm. Mathias collapsed next to me, drenched in sweat; he turned me with him when he collapsed so he didn't have to pull from me. Our lower regions were still entangled. His hand met my hips as he pulled out and pushed me to my back.

It was a while before anyone spoke. His hand rose up to point at an alignment of stars in the sky. He took about fifteen minutes explaining to me something about the constellation above us. Then silence fell and the only noise heard was his breathing and the crashing of waves in the distance, this moment was perfect.

I started to drift to a slumber when he raised a small blanket above us. My head met his chest, I cuddled up to him as he traced circles on my lower back and I was asleep before I knew it. That whole night was pure bliss and I could rest easy knowing I meant more to him than that woman.


End file.
